


maybe i'm just being selfish.

by KuriKuri



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Dubious Consent, From Sex to Love, Incubus Fai, M/M, Succubi & Incubi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 20:45:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6299773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuriKuri/pseuds/KuriKuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know what we are, don’t you?” Kamui asks, his eyes sharp as he studies Kurogane.</p>
<p>“Vampires,” Kurogane snaps.</p>
<p>“Of a type,” Kamui corrects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe i'm just being selfish.

**Author's Note:**

> no proofreading #yolo
> 
> **WARNINGS:** DUB-CON. VERY MUCH DUB-CON. although both fai and kurogane are both very much aware of the consent issues in this fic, fai still has to have sex with kurogane to stay alive, which leads to consent issues for both parties. so be warned. also there's some gross blood stuff, but not really blood play or anything. so enjoy at your own risk, i guess.

Tokyo is hellish.

( _Hellish_ – not quite hell. Kurogane saw hell the day his parents died, and while this comes close, it’s not quite there. He tries not to think about how he has a scale for things like this.)

If there’s one thing Kurogane knows, though, it’s that he’s not letting Fai die here. He can’t tell anymore if his motivations are more altruistic or selfish, but his voice is steady and firm when he asks, “What do I have to do to save him?”

“Kuro – ” Fai starts, frustration evident in his tone despite the weakness in it. Kurogane’s grip on him tightens, trying not to think about how Fai gets closer to death with every moment they waste arguing.

“You know what we are, don’t you?” Kamui asks, his eyes sharp as he studies Kurogane.

“Vampires,” Kurogane snaps.

“Of a type,” Kamui corrects, expression grim. “More accurately, Subaru and I are incubi. Instead of feeding on blood, like traditional vampires, we feed off of sexual energy.”

This catches Kurogane off guard. He’s never heard of such a creature before.

“This would require the two of you to have regular sexual intercourse in order to sustain his life force,” Kamui continues, and for a moment, Kurogane actually hesitates.

It’s not that he doesn’t find Fai attractive – that’s precisely the problem, if he’s being honest with himself. He’s kept it hidden as best he can, because messy physical and emotional entanglements with a man who can barely introduce himself without lying are hardly something he wants to get involved in. And that’s assuming that Fai would even reciprocate his attraction. The last thing he wants to do is force himself, both physically and emotionally, on Fai.

Then again, it is Fai’s life at stake.

“Mage,” Kurogane says, making Fai look up at him with glassy eyes. “I’m not letting you die here and now. If you want to die that badly, then I’ll kill you myself.”

It’s not a question, but he waits for an answer anyway as Fai studies him carefully.

“Then let’s get this over with,” Fai replies with a small, painfully false smile. It’s not a protest, though, and it’s the best Kurogane’s going to get. He gives Kamui a curt nod, who purses his lips, but proceeds to slice open his wrist with a flick of his fingers, letting blood run free.

“Wet your mouth with it, but don’t swallow,” Kamui instructs, holding his wrist up to Kurogane.

Now that the decision has been clearly made, Kurogane doesn’t hesitate to lean forward and press his lips to Kamui’s wrist, a hot copper tang hitting his tongue. He can feel the viscous liquid coating his mouth, a little bit dripping down his chin, and he’s certain he looks like some sort of demon as the hot blood slides down the side of his throat.

“Now kiss him,” Kamui says, eyes flicking over to where Fai is lying on the bed, breathing shallow and eyes glassy.

Kurogane’s imagined a few kisses with Fai before, rough, playful, and sweet, but he’s never imagined anything like this. Fai’s lips feel cool on his own, but they’re soon warm with Kamui’s slick blood. It’s not a deep kiss. Still, Kurogane finds himself doing most of the work, and it would feel like kissing a statue, he thinks, if it weren’t for the barest pressure of Fai leaning into the kiss, lips slightly parted.

Finally, Kurogane pulls back. The blood’s already starting to crust on his lips, and Fai’s face is a mess with it too, a stark contrast to his pale skin.

Then, Fai’s mouth opens in a silent gasp and his body begins to convulse.

Kurogane should have expected this, he thinks, but he still feels a little numb as Fai goes rigid in agony. He only barely registers Kamui telling him to hold Fai down. Gritting his teeth, he grasps Fai’s arms, trying not to react to the sharp pain of Fai’s nails digging into him. Part of him thinks that Fai should be screaming, sharp and loud, but all that comes out of Fai’s mouth are reedy gasps, as if he doesn’t even have the strength to produce a real sound.

Finally, Fai stops convulsing. He blinks up at Kurogane with a singular golden eye and passes out.

\---

Kurogane isn’t sure how often Fai needs to… eat. Unfortunately, he can’t trust Fai to just tell him – particularly with how coldly Fai’s been treating him lately – so instead he finds himself carefully watching Fai’s body language.

At least once a week is Fai’s limit, it seems. They’ve moved onto the next world by now: a world similar to the Hanshin Republic, except with to suns, so that every hour is illuminated by daylight. Kurogane’s glad he had enough foresight to book them two hotel rooms, one for the kids and one for himself and Fai. After Tokyo, all of their relationships are strained enough that he doesn’t need to make things even more awkward by essentially sexiling the kids he’s grown to feel almost parental about.

“You need to eat,” Kurogane says to Fai when they get back from searching for Sakura’s feather that day, closing and locking the hotel room door behind him.

“Can’t say I’m feeling too hungry,” Fai replies lightly, but there’s an edge to his tone that wasn’t there before Tokyo.

“Don’t bother lying,” Kurogane snorts, stepping closer to Fai. “You look exhausted and you’ve been eying me all day.”

“Maybe you’re just getting arrogant,” Fai says, brushing off Kurogane’s comments.

“We’re going to have to do this eventually, mage,” Kurogane replies, a hint of a growl in his tone. He’d known that trying to get Fai to feed would be difficult, but he can’t help his irritation at how flippantly Fai treats his own life.

“No, I don’t, Kurogane,” Fai snaps, gaze going cold. Not for the first time, Kurogane thinks that Fai addressing him by his full name should be satisfying, but instead it just feels like an elbow jab to the gut.

“Look, Kamui said I’m the only one who has to get off, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Kurogane sighs. They’re sexually bound for life and somehow he still doesn’t know if Fai’s attracted to men.

Fai’s quiet for a moment.

“That won’t be an issue,” he finally manages, not quite meeting Kurogane’s eyes.

“So we’re doing this, then?” Kurogane asks. Fai hesitates another moment and then mutters something harsh-sounding under his breath before striding over to Kurogane and pulling him down into a rough kiss.

It’s the type that Kurogane had imagined when he first met Fai, back when he just wanted to fuck Fai hard enough to shut him up for once. It’s sloppy, with a little too much teeth, and when Fai slides a hand up under Kurogane’s shirt, blunt nails scrape over his skin. As far as kisses go, it’s certainly not bad, but it’s not particularly _nice_. Still, if it helps Fai vent his anger while simultaneously getting him fed, Kurogane’s not about to complain.

There’s a bed not five feet from them, but Fai pushes him up against the wall instead with a surprising amount of force for someone who’s been starving himself. Kurogane’s shoulders hit the thin plaster with a thud and barely a second later there’s a hand grappling with his belt. Fai all but tears the buckle apart before shoving his hand down the front of Kurogane’s pants, long fingers wrapping around Kurogane and stroking.

If Fai’s not attracted to men, at least he doesn’t hesitate once he has Kurogane’s cock in hand. His strokes are rough but sure as he pins Kurogane to the wall, and Kurogane’s orgasm is building embarrassingly fast.

Fai tears his mouth away from Kurogane’s and moves to bite down on Kurogane’s neck, not hard enough to draw blood, but only just. Kurogane’s certain he’s going to have a bruise there tomorrow, but he doesn’t ask Fai to stop, just lets Fai take what he wants.

Kurogane can’t help the way his hips buck up, though, when Fai gets his grip just right. Just a few more strokes and Kurogane’s spilling into Fai’s hand with a muffled curse, making a mess of them both. Fai’s breath hitches and his eye glows bright, unnatural yellow.

It’s utterly draining, Fai consuming his energy, and it’s all Kurogane can do to keep himself upright for a moment.

It also doesn’t help that instead of helping support him, Fai backs away like he’s been burned, leaving Kurogane to slump against the wall, knees buckling so that he ends up sliding to the floor. Kurogane blinks, trying to banish the spots clouding his vision, his head slowly clearing. Across the room, he hears the door to the bathroom slam shut, and a moment later the sound of the shower running fills the space.

Kurogane tries not to feel sick to his stomach.

He listens to the running water, straining his ears for sounds of retching or crying or _something_ , but –

 – but instead he hears heavy breathing and the end of a bitten off moan. It takes him a moment to process in his still hazy state, but he’s fairly certain Fai’s getting himself off in the bathroom.

So apparently the sex was enough to make Fai aroused, but not enough to actually make him want to have sex with Kurogane. Kurogane finds himself staring blankly at the bathroom door, half wanting to confront Fai and half wanting to collapse on the bed and just pass out.

In the end, he goes with the latter option. He’s already ignored enough of Fai’s wishes, and the least he can do is respect this one.

\---

The next time they have sex, Fai drops down on his knees before Kurogane can even ask, “Hungry?” and sucks what feels like half of Kurogane’s life force out through his dick.

And, like before, Fai leaves before the spots even begin to clear form Kurogane’s vision.

\---

They fall into a routine, of sorts, where Fai takes what he needs from Kurogane, but never allows for reciprocation. Kurogane would be lying if he said he wasn’t somehow disappointed, but it is what it is, and if Fai doesn’t want Kurogane to touch him like that, he won’t. The last thing he wants to do is violate Fai any more than he already has.

In Infinity, though, something changes.

It would be too early for Fai to feed again, but with how much energy they’ve been expending in the little chess tournament they’ve been participating in, Kurogane can tell that Fai’s hunger is more intense than usual. His single blue eye is duller – _yellower_ – than usual and Kurogane can see his fingers trembling when Fai isn’t consciously making them hold still.

“You’re hungry,” Kurogane says to Fai once the kids are safely in bed. (Although he really shouldn’t be calling them kids anymore with what they’ve been through, should he?)

“Are you up to it tonight?” Fai asks, his lips pressed in a tight line.

“Right now you need the energy more than I do,” Kurogane snorts, but doesn’t try to deny the bone deep wariness he’s feeling. They may be doing well in this “chess” tournament, but it’s still far from easy work. “Our match isn’t until tomorrow evening, anyway. I can sleep it off.”

Fai hesitates for a moment.

“I think I need something stronger,” he finally says, catching Kurogane off guard.

“Stronger?” Kurogane asks, his brow furrowing.

“I – ” Fai cuts himself off, clearly trying to figure out how to phrase what he’s going to say. “Our activities haven’t been entirely… filling.”

Kurogane kind of wants to punch him.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Kurogane snaps, hands clenching into fists.

“I’m alive. Isn’t that all that matters?” Fai replies, his voice cold. Kurogane wants to argue – wants to say that he turned Fai so that he could finally start _living_ , not just surviving – but the quiet, logical part of his brain tells him that he’s done what he can for Fai already.

(Something about bringing a horse to water but not being able to make it drink, which sounds like something that damn Dimensional Witch would say.)

“What do you need?” Kurogane finally asks.

Fai takes a step closer and says, “Fuck me.”

There’s no hesitation in his voice, but Kurogane feels himself stiffen, uncomfortable.

Like many sexual things involving Fai, it’s not as if Kurogane hasn’t thought about it before, but here and now… this isn’t how Kurogane wants it to happen. It’s one thing for Fai to give him a rough hand job and then jack off alone in the shower, but there’s no hiding from the reality of something like _this_ , so much closer and more intimate.

Still, Fai needs to eat, and with how tired Kurogane’s already feeling, he doubts he has enough energy to try to fulfil Fai by getting off more than once tonight.

He doesn’t resist when Fai pulls him down onto the bed, obediently props himself up over Fai on his hands and knees. But when Fai’s hands start moving up under his shirt, he finds himself going rigid again. Apparently it’s obvious enough for Fai to notice, and he his hands stop moving, but he doesn’t pull away entirely, palms still pressed up against Kurogane’s bare skin.

“You should top,” Kurogane says suddenly, but his voice is steady. Fai blinks up at him, clearly surprised.

“If that’s what you want,” Fai finally replies, his tone neutral, and Kurogane gives him a curt nod, flipping them over.

If they’re going to have to do this, he might as well make it as good as he can. It’s been a while, but it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy getting fucked, and he can tell that it would have quickly gone to shit if Fai were on the receiving end. Fai has shit self-preservation instincts and a martyr complex, and Kurogane’s absolutely certain that if he were to accidentally get too rough, Fai would just grit his teeth and bear it. However, Fai treats others with respect and care.

Either that or he can use this as an opportunity to vent some of his anger. It’s not like Kurogane wouldn’t deserve it, at least a little bit, for trapping Fai in this fucked up situation.

It doesn’t take them long to shed their clothes, although it’s a little surreal to realize that this is actually the first time they’ve both been fully naked in each other’s presences. Normally it’s just Fai ripping Kurogane’s belt open and shoving his pants down just enough to get at his cock. And although Kurogane’s never been particularly self-conscious, he feels oddly exposed like this, with Fai braced over him.

“Have you done this before?” Fai asks, catching Kurogane off guard.

“Think I would have offered if I hadn’t?” Kurogane snorts. He doesn’t admit how long it’s been, though.

Fai produces a bottle of lube from somewhere. Clearly he’s been planning this for a while, and Kurogane doesn’t quite know how to feel about that. He doesn’t have long to contemplate it, though, because he’s soon distracted by the feel of thin, slick fingers pressing at him.

He shuts his eyes and steadies his breathing, but Fai’s remarkably gentle with him. Apparently he’s been forgiven enough that Fai doesn’t feel the need to be rough with him.

In fact, Fai takes an almost torturously long time stretching him, and Kurogane’s entire body flushes with heat as Fai screws long, slick fingers inside of him. Part of him wants to growl at Fai and tell him to fucking get on with it already, but at the same time this is almost a nice change of pace from their normal sexual interactions.

Part of Kurogane wants to make it last.

Fai does eventually withdraw his fingers, though, before sliding into Kurogane. He gives Kurogane a moment to adjust, and Kurogane tries not to be too overwhelmed by the feeling of Fai inside him, tries not to be distracted by the feeling of Fai’s hot breath against his neck.

Apparently satisfied that Kurogane’s not in any pain, Fai finally begins to move. Kurogane finds himself biting back muffled curses as Fai finds just the right angle, making sparks of pleasure tingle up his spine. His neglected cock lies heavy between them, smearing pre-come across his stomach.

Fai speeds up his thrusts a little, breathing going a little ragged, a little shallow, and Kurogane’s sure he’s getting close. As it is, Kurogane himself would probably only need the lightest stroke to his cock and he’d be spilling across his stomach.

Fai’s hips finally stutter, and he comes inside Kurogane with a low groan, before bringing up a hand to bring Kurogane to completion with just a couple fast strokes.

Kurogane lets out a soft _whine_ – because there’s really no other apt term for the noise – as he comes, and Fai lets out a soft laugh, murmurs, “Good boy, Kuro-puppy,” in his ear, single eye flashing golden. Exhausted but sated, Kurogane realizes that it’s the first time Fai’s called him by a nickname since Tokyo.

He can’t quite believe how much he missed the damn things.

\---

Fai’s not next to him when he wakes up the next morning, but he can smell breakfast cooking in the other room and the spot next to him in the bed is still a little warm. He winces a little when he sits up, sore from the previous night. It’s a pleasant sort of sore, though, more of a dull ache than anything.

Gathering his clothes from where they were unceremoniously dumped on the floor the previous night, he dresses and makes his way to the combined living area and kitchen. Fai’s at the stove, as expected, but Sakura and Syaoran don’t appear to be awake yet, leaving the two of them alone.

“How are you feeling?” Kurogane asks, sidling up next to Fai and peering over his shoulder at the pans on the stove. He’s pleased to find Fai’s cooking omelets for once, one of the few foods that Kurogane doesn’t find too disgustingly sweet.

“Energized,” Fai replies, his tone light.

“Am I forgiven now?” Kurogane asks, moving from behind Fai to lean against the kitchen counter.

Fai is quiet for a moment.

“You were forgiven a while ago,” Fai finally answers.

“So I just earned the stupid nicknames back,” Kurogane snorts, and the barest hint of a smile graces Fai’s lips – a genuine one, even.

“Maybe I just got tired of calling you by such a boring name,” Fai replies, flipping over an omelet deftly. “Now go set the table and call the kids for breakfast.”

Kurogane grumbles, but goes.

\---

Everything goes to shit again, which in Kurogane’s opinion is beginning to become synonymous with, “and life goes on.”

\---

When he wakes up in Japan again, his first thought is of Fai. Part of him wants to say it’s because he just cut off his goddamn arm for the man. The rest of him knows better.

The punch Fai greets him with isn’t expected, but in hindsight maybe it should have been. Maybe he can blame his reaction time on the shock of seeing Fai decked out in a kimono – a furisode, no less, the long sleeves sweeping through the air whenever he moves his arms. He wonders if he should tell Fai that the garment he’s wearing is generally only for children and unmarried women.

The entire setup reeks of Tomoyo’s scheming.

“You pick that out yourself?” Kurogane snorts, indicating the kimono.

“Princess Tomoyo gave me a few options, but most of them were so dull,” Fai replies. “I’ve been told I look good in blue, though.”

Fai flashes him a grin and Kurogane can’t help but let out a soft snort of laughter.

“Do you think I look good, Kuro-rin?” Fai asks, a hint of playful challenge in his tone.

“I think you should be careful about letting Princess Tomoyo dress you up,” Kurogane replies, not admitting that Fai does actually look good in his light blue furisode. In fact, if Kurogane were one for flowery compliments, he might even use the word ‘stunning.’

“I’m not sure I have much of a choice,” Fai says wryly. “I’m pretty sure she’s the only one who can get me in and out of this thing.”

Kurogane valiantly tries not to think about getting Fai out of his furisode. Fai’s statement does remind him of something important, though.

“Do you need to eat?” he asks, feeling a little guilty as the amusement drains from Fai’s expression almost instantaneously.

“You’re injured,” Fai says, his lips pressed in a tight, unhappy line. Unfortunately, Kurogane can’t really argue with that.

“You’re going to have to feed before we leave,” Kurogane replies. “We don’t know what we’ll be facing next.”

“Before we leave?” Fai asks, sounding a little lost.

“I’m not sure how long we’ll be staying here – ”  Kurogane starts, but Fai cuts him off.

“You’re home, Kuro-chi,” Fai says, his voice soft. “Your wish has been granted.”

Kurogane’s silent for a moment.

“Yeah, well, maybe my wish has changed since then,” he finally replies firmly, meeting Fai’s gaze and not wavering. “So, are you going to feed now, or do you want to figure out where the kids are, first?”

Fai hesitates for a moment.

“I suppose we can try something non-strenuous,” he finally says, crawling up onto the bed and straddling Kurogane’s lap.

But instead of going directly for Kurogane’s cock, like usual, he leans in for a kiss. It catches Kurogane off guard for a split second, but he finds himself kissing back quickly enough. The kisses are wet and deep, but lazy, like they have all the time in the world now that Fai’s curses have been broken. Kurogane finds himself resting his hands on Fai’s hips, feeling the warmth of Fai’s body through the soft fabric of the furisode.

Fai starts rocking in Kurogane’s lap a little, creating delicious friction between them. Kurogane would almost feel embarrassed knowing that they’re going to get off like teenagers, humping each other fully clothed, but Fai’s solid weight in his lap feels too good for him to regret anything about it.

Kurogane doesn’t know exactly how long they grind together, slow and hot, exchanging sloppy kisses, but eventually he feels a familiar pleasure building at the base of his spine, making his skin tingle. He tangles his fists in Fai’s light blue furisode, and pants against Fai’s lips, their mouths only brushing together now instead of meeting in proper kisses.

Just a little more sweet friction and Kurogane’s coming with a soft sound, probably making a mess of his clothes while he’s at it. Instead of running away, though, Fai rocks against Kurogane a few more time and follows him, his one visible eye fluttering closed in pleasure, but not before Kurogane sees a familiar flash of golden-yellow.

“So,” Fai says, once he’s steadied his breathing again, a mischievous glint in his eye. “It looks like I’ll have to ask Tomoyo to pick me out another outfit. Especially after this one seems to have gone over so well.”

“Fuck you,” Kurogane grumbles, cheeks heating.

“Mmm, maybe once this feather drama is all resolved,” Fai replies, dragging himself out of Kurogane’s bed. “For now, I’m going to clean up and go check on Syaoran. I’ll check in again later, Kuro-sama.”

As Fai slips out the door, Kurogane slumps back against the cushions in his bed, and tries not to wonder what will happen when this ‘feather drama,’ as Fai put it, really is over.

He wonders if he can somehow convince Fai to come back to Japan with him.

\---

Fei Wang Reed is defeated. The world rejoices. (Or, rather, the handful of people who knew about his plot do.)

Life goes on, as far as Kurogane’s concerned.

\---

It’s not until Kurogane finds himself sitting at Fai’s bedside in Clow’s palace after the battle, staring into Fai’s two, intact, bright blue eyes that it really hits him.

“Your magic’s back,” Kurogane says, earning him a slightly bemused look from Fai.

“It is, isn’t it, Kuro-pon,” Fai replies. “I’d almost forgotten!”

“Don’t be an ass,” Kurogane huffs, rolling his eyes. “It’s just that the witch said that if you got your magic back, you’d be cured of your… condition. Feeling hungry?”

A few different emotions flit over Fai’s face in the span of a few seconds, but surprise is the only one Kurogane can identify.

“No,” Fai finally replies. “I’m not hungry.”

Relief floods through Kurogane. And maybe a small, secret part of him feels a little disappointed that he no longer has that connection to Fai – that _excuse_ – when they were just starting to get somewhere, but that tiny, selfish part of him is drowned a hundred times over by Kurogane’s relief.

“Thank fuck,” Kurogane huffs, lips twitching up into a small grin.

“That glad to be rid of me?” Fai asks, his tone light, but his teasing smile isn’t reflected in his eyes.

“Just because I’m not your prey anymore doesn’t mean we’re going our separate ways,” Kurogane snorts, and he sees a little tension drain out of Fai’s shoulders, but not all of it. “You’d be a danger to yourself and everyone else if I just let you run wild.”

“It’s cute that you think you’re the master here, Kuro-puppy,” Fai says with a smirk, but there’s still something off about his expression.

“If you’re not comfortable with being around me anymore, you can tell me,” Kurogane replies, his expression sobering. All mirth disappears from Fai’s face.

“I should be the one saying that to you, shouldn’t I?” Fai asks, his expression wry. Kurogane doesn’t miss the familiar notes of self-deprecation in his tone.

“What do you mean?” Kurogane asks, his brow furrowing in confusion, lips turning down in a frown.

“You’ve given me so much already,” Fai says, hands fisting in the bedsheets, avoiding Kurogane’s gaze. “Protection, your arm, sex. And I… took advantage of your generosity.”

“I don’t know what sort of bullshit direction your mind is going in, mage, but all of that I did of my own free will,” Kurogane replies, scowling, “and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.”

“Of course you would,” Fai says softly. “That still doesn’t change the fact that I took more than I should have, though. Particularly with the sex.”

“I’m the one who forced you – ” Kurogane snaps.

“But I _enjoyed_ it,” Fai interrupts, finally locking eyes with Kurogane again. “I _got off_ on it, even though you were only doing it to keep me alive. Even though you were only doing it because you felt responsible – ”

“You really are an idiot,” Kurogane snorts. “And you really need to get rid of that fucking martyr complex of yours.”

(Easier said than done, of course, but they have to start somewhere. Baby steps.)

“Yeah, I was having sex with you to keep you alive,” Kurogane continues, and Fai clenches his jaw. “And I wouldn’t have had sex with you if it wasn’t required for your condition – not because I’m not attracted to you, but because neither of us were emotionally ready for it. As far as I’m concerned, we’re still not.”

“You…?” Fai asks, looking more than a little knocked off balance.

“Have feelings for you?” Kurogane supplies, because even if he might actually be in love with Fai, he’s not quite ready to say that either. He’s sure he’ll get there someday, though. “Yeah, I do. There was a good amount of selfishness that went into saving your life – both times – so stop blaming yourself for it, mage.”

Fai is silent for a moment, clearly processing the information. All the while, he studies Kurogane carefully, as if looking for evidence of truth in his expression. Kurogane’s about to ask if he needs some space to think things over, when Fai leans over and clasps Kurogane’s hand in his own, twining their fingers together.

“You don’t make me uncomfortable,” Fai finally says, “and I’d like it if you’d stay. Maybe someday you could even take some time to give me a proper tour of Japan.”

“As long as you wear proper clothing next time,” Kurogane snorts, but he gives Fai’s hand a comforting squeeze.

“Maybe,” Fai replies, a smile tugging at his lips. “You seemed to enjoy it last time.”

“Yeah, well,” Kurogane says, his cheeks going a little pink. “We’ll see. Right now, though, I don’t think sex is the best idea.”

“That – ” Fai hesitates for a moment. “I agree. Not that parts of it weren’t enjoyable, but.”

“Let’s get the rest of our shit sorted out first,” Kurogane finishes, earning him a small smile from Fai.

“Maybe one little kiss before we go cold turkey, though?” Fai teases, mirth dancing in his bright blue eyes.

Kurogane lets out a small huff and leans forward to press a light, chaste kiss to Fai’s forehead.

“Good enough?” he asks, arching an eyebrow at Fai.

“Perfect,” Fai replies.

**Author's Note:**

> my anime/manga tumblr is [bi-d-flourite](https://bi-d-flourite.tumblr.com/) and my main tumblr (marvel and teen wolf) is [authorkurikuri](https://authorkurikuri.tumblr.com/)


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